Love That Was Lost
by Scarlet has Fantasy Issues
Summary: He died and she was ready to give up everything to bring him back, even sacrifice a part of herself... KakashiXOC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I haven't exactly gotten to the point in the series where Kakashi dies, but my sister told me about it and I was depressed for awhile. Now I have this new story to drown my sorrows on the OC I created that some people seem to like. I hope you like depression and angst because I think this is full of it.**

**X.X.X.X.X.X**

She held a knife in one hand and a photo in the other. All around her candles were burning away, throwing dark shadows on the walls and just barely gave her the light to see the face of the man in the photo.

He was the man she had lost. The man she felt she had lost for no reason at all, who had been lost like every other person she had ever cared for in her short life that felt like an eternity. He had been the beacon of light in the darkness that would have consumed her very soul and he had given her friendship when everyone else would have turned their backs on her. He had loved her despite the monsters that lay waiting inside of her and he loved her knowing that she could one day lose control and destroy him completely.

And she had loved him back with all of her heart.

But he was gone now. Another man lived because he had sacrificed his life to do the right thing. She hadn't even been close to him when he had taken his last breath. She'd been so far away and didn't even know if she had crossed his mind when he had died.

She remembered standing in the hospital and just staring at the covered body of her beloved with Lady Tsunade talked to her in what the older woman must have thought was a compassionate tone.

"_I'm sorry Kurayami," the older woman said, watching Kurayami's eyes suddenly become wet. "There was nothing we could do. There was absolutely nothing I could do to save him."_

_Kurayami's cheeks became wet with tears that spilled over. "How – how could this happen? He promised me that he wouldn't…he said he wouldn't die! He promised me that he would make it back to me!"_

_Tsunade shook her head and looked at the bed that held the remains of the man who had done her great services. "There was nothing he could do to change fate. The Goddess called him back to her own service because it was his time."_

"_No it wasn't! He was supposed to grow old and grayer!" Kurayami cried, shaking. "I was supposed to grow old with him…We were supposed to get married one day and Gai was supposed to grow old trying to find a way to break us up! He was supposed to have a family of his own and raise strong sons with perverted tendencies!" She laughed. "He was supposed to be overprotective of his daughters and raise them to be strong kunoichi… He was – he was –!" _

_Tsunade grabbed Kurayami and pulled her from the room. "Kurayami you need to calm down. Kakashi Hatake is dead and he's not going to do any of the things you planned. We're going to bury him tomorrow morning and then we're going to honor him by carving his name on the memorial stone next to the names of your parents. But you have to be able to let go."_

_Kurayami shook her head. "I can't let him go. I can't let him be gone!" _

"_Kurayami…"_

"_He was the only one in the world who could ever love me for who I am!" Kurayami exclaimed, her hands curling into fists. "Itachi and Orochimaru loved me for my looks and for my power, but Kakashi loved me for my entire being! No one else will ever get close enough to realize that I can be loved! He was my soul mate!"_

"_Kurayami," Tsunade said patiently. "You're still young. There are plenty of eligible men out there just waiting for you to give them a chance…"_

"_I don't want to give them a chance because my heart belongs to the man in there!" _

_The two women looked up when they heard a shuffling of feet and the crinkling of a bag of chips. Kurayami's eyes narrowed as her eyes locked onto Choji._

"_You!" she hissed. "You and your father are the reason that Kakashi Hatake is dead!"_

_Choji froze where he was standing and stared at her in horror._

"_Kurayami, you know that's not true!" Tsunade snapped._

"_One of you should be dead instead of him!" Kurayami roared at Choji, ignoring Tsunade. "Your lives aren't worth a tenth of his! Yet, he lays there dead and you're walking around, filling your body with poison! You and your father disgust me and the world would have been much happier with you dead!"_

"_Kurayami Houka that is enough!" Tsunade yelled._

_Kurayami straightened and walked past Choji. "I will __**never**__ forgive you for what you have done!"_

Tears fell on the photo as Kurayami stared down at Kakashi's smiling face and the hand holding the knife shook. She had gone to the funeral two days ago and had refused to say goodbye to the empty shell he had left behind in this world. She couldn't believe that he was gone, even though she had been in the house by herself since his death had been announced to her.

Gai had stopped by first to try to comfort her, but even his joyful antics were diminished at the loss of his rival and the sight of her suffering form. Iruka had come next and he had tried to talk with her to help her move on with her life, but he had to give up when he couldn't control his own emotions. Kakashi's students, Naruto and Sakura, had come just hours before nightfall to give her their sympathy and had hugged her, though she felt no warmth from them.

"No more crying Kurayami," she ordered herself, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand.

Once the tears stopped coming, Kurayami put the photo of Kakashi to the side and pulled a bowl towards her. With determination in her eyes, Kurayami drew the knife across her wrist and let the blood flow into the bowl. She overrode the power of the monsters in her body, canceling all the healing properties they gave her to ensure that she would bleed enough to fill the clay bowl.

_Kakashi, I do this for you, _she thought, blinking back more tears that threatened to fall. _I do this because my life is nothing without you in it. I can't go on without you for much longer and I will do anything to have you back again…_

She dropped the knife and pulled her wrist away when the bowl was full. Without any gentleness, Kurayami bound her arm tightly to stop the bleeding and pinned the end down. It wasn't like she could feel the pain anymore. Everything was numb and she knew it would continue to be numb unless Kakashi was brought back into her life.

"Kakashi," she whispered, his smiling face flashing before her eyes. "You will be back with me tonight."

Kurayami crawled forward and took the bowl up in her hand. A human shaped object lay covered by a white sheet and Kurayami placed a hand over the heart of it. Cold seeped through the thin sheet and up through her arm until she was chilled to the core. With a sudden heaviness in her aching heart, Kurayami dipped her fingers into the bowl of blood and started drawing designs on the sheet.

"_Kakashi, we'll always be together," Kurayami stated, smiling over at him as they lay on the grass, staring up at the clouds. "We'll grow old and we'll have a happy family…And…" She noticed that Kakashi wasn't smiling. "What?"_

"_Kurayami, you know with our line of work that there might come a time that one of us won't make it back home," Kakashi said quietly. "One of us could fall to an enemy's hand and the other would have to bury the one lost. I pray to the gods that if one of us is lost, that it will be me –" _

"_No!" Kurayami sat up quickly and looked down at him. "Kakashi don't say that! You're not going to die and leave me behind!"_

"_Ami," Kakashi breathed, sitting up also. "It's bound to happen because each of us has accumulated some dangerous enemies during the span of our careers. And let's face it, I'm getting older and not any stronger and my enemies are getting the advantage…you don't have the same disadvantages as I do." _

"_But Kakashi!"_

"_Ami, I would rather give up my life than live without you in this cruel world," Kakashi admitted, never breaking eye contact with her. "I'm not strong enough to live in a world where you aren't. I've already lost you too many times to enemies and I'm not going to lose you to death."_

_Kurayami wrapped her arms around Kakashi, hugging him as tightly as she could and burying her face against his shoulder. "Kakashi, I'll never leave you. I can't lose you. I'm not strong enough to be without you anymore…Please, don't you ever die on me."_

_Kakashi hugged her back. "Remember that I love you, Ami and never let our love leave your heart because I will always be in your heart when you need me the most."_

Kurayami's had to fight to keep her hands from trembling so she wouldn't make a mistake on the designs she was making on the white sheet covering the shell of the man she had loved. A normal person would have been disgusted to be touching the body of a man who had been dead for three days, but Kurayami was beyond disgust. A person wouldn't have unburied a corpse, thinking it blasphemous, but Kurayami could care less about blasphemy. As far as she was concerned, living in a world without the love of her life was comparable to living in Hell.

She finished drawing the designs on his feet and moved back away from him. She glanced at the old scrolls she had unearthed from her family's private collection of Forbidden Jutsu, double checking the patterns to make sure she hadn't made any mistakes. The jutsu she was doing was very touchy and even the slightest difference in a mark could screw up the entire jutsu.

Assured that she had done everything right, Kurayami started using the remainder of her blood to draw out signs around the body, starting from the feet up. She didn't care if the wood floors tore at her skin as she painted the designs in her blood. The splinters would not hinder her for long and the monsters inside her body would probably destroy them before they could do any real harm.

Kurayami's eyes lost their wateriness and became focused, sharper. Her movements were sharp and precise as she moved around the body, careful not to smudge any of the previous designs. She felt eyes watching her, but did not look up until she made the finishing mark at the top of the head.

Kurayami straightened with a sigh and wiped her bloodstained fingertips off on the leg of her pants. She set the bowl aside and opened a window to the let the moonlight fall upon the covered body of the dead man. The fresh air stirred the flames of the candles for a moment and cleared away the stench of death that had been choking the air.

Kurayami was tempted for a moment to peek under the sheet at the peaceful face of her beloved Kakashi. She knew that he had the appearance of being asleep, but it was the wrong kind of sleep. It was the eternal sleep that no one was supposed to wake up from in this realm.

_She'll be coming soon_, Kurayami thought with another glance out the window. _If she doesn't already know what I'm doing, she'll soon find out and I know she won't like it. But she's not the one who lost the one person who loved her completely this time, so she can just keep her mouth shut._

Kurayami glanced at her clone that sat on the bed, watching her. The clone nodded and crossed her legs, holding Kakashi's photo now.

"It's time," the clone whispered.

Kurayami nodded and sat down at Kakashi's feet and summoned all the chakra she would need for this jutsu, not caring that it was going to be an excessive amount. Her eyes became catlike and she started chanting the words to the jutsu as her hands flew through the precise hand signs that she had studied for hours earlier. The clone on the bed was the one to notice that Tsunade was in the room and she was the one that the older woman addressed in a low voice.

"You know that it was wrong of you to steal his body away," Tsunade said quietly.

The clone shrugged. "It was wrong of the world to take him away from me and his Village. Something that I am trying to correct here."

"Kurayami, you know that doing this jutsu is forbidden. Only one person in your family mastered it and they died trying to bring back your great-great-grandmother. That's why no one in your family was supposed to learn the jutsu after him."

"My family members did not possess the power of two demons either. They did not have access to vast amounts of chakra like I do." The clone looked at Tsunade with hard eyes. "And don't think you can stop me from completing this jutsu just because you call it 'forbidden'. The real Kurayami pumped me full of chakra so that I can withstand your blows, no matter how strong you are."

Tsunade looked sad. "So you will not give up? No matter the cost?"

The clone shook her head. "I would give up my life if only to bring Kakashi back into this world. I would be happy to have him be the last person, the last thing I see before I died so that he may know that I gave my life up for him."

"Kurayami, you know that's not what Kakashi wanted you to do in the event of his death. He wanted you to live, so that one of you was alive and could make new plans with someone else who would love you just as much as he did. Don't let his sacrifice be made in vain."

The clone smiled a sad smile as the bloody designs started to glow on the sheet and on the floor. "His death will not be in vain. Those Akimichi men are alive, aren't they? They won't be killed because of this…Everything will be the same, but Kakashi will be alive once more."

Tsunade raised a hand to shield her eyes as the designs grew brighter. "There is a chance with this jutsu that he won't be the same man that you fell in love with. He could come back as a completely different man."

"But he won't. I've taken all the necessary precautions and have performed this jutsu to the exact letter. Nothing will stop this now. Nothing."

Tsunade watched as the Kurayami kneeling on the floor at the feet of Kakashi's corpse finished doing hand signs. The designs around and on the body grew blinding and Tsunade had to look away. Moments later, they dimmed down and then they were gone completely.

"It is finished," Kurayami whispered as her clone exploded out of existence.

"At what cost?" Tsunade asked just as quietly.

Kurayami looked at Tsunade with catlike eyes. "Ai is near death. If Ceres does not help her, there will be no more twelve tailed cat demon. Please Tsunade, do not send me into battle for at least a week. I need to conserve what little chakra I have at the moment so that Ai does not die."

Tsunade looked astonished. "You were willing to trade the demon that you were born with to bring Kakashi back? The demon that is as much a part of you as your soul?"

"Yes." Kurayami turned her back on Kakashi's corpse and stood up. "Tsunade, don't you understand that I would give up _everything _that I have to be reunited with the man I love? Didn't you feel the same way when you lost the man that you loved all those years ago? Did you not feel like trying everything you could to bring him back? Weren't you ready to give up your life just to see him again?"

"Kurayami, this is different. This is you and you have some much to lose in this gamble for the life of Kakashi. The odds don't look good."

Kurayami glanced over her shoulder at the unmoving body of Kakashi. "The odds never look good from another person's perspective. And yes, I know how much I have to lose, but that is overshadowed by all that I can gain." She smiled at Tsunade. "I can regain the love that was lost and the happiness that has fled my body. I will find a new meaning in life, a new purpose. And I will cherish every minute I spend with Kakashi from now on."

Tsunade looked sad. "Kurayami, he's not getting up."

Tears swam in Kurayami's eyes. "He will get up! He will! I did everything right! I fulfilled the exchange of blood and chakra! I did everything that was required! He will get up!"

She collapsed against Tsunade, crying and muttering 'he will' over and over again. Tsunade lowered her gaze and patted the younger woman on the back soothingly. It was her professional opinion that Kurayami needed to get some sleep because it was obvious by the dark circles under the girl's eyes that she hadn't slept since told of Kakashi's death. Tsunade could promise her a dreamless sleep, knowing that she would have wanted the same thing when she had lost someone she had loved.

"It will be all right in the morning," Tsunade promised Kurayami, summoning chakra to her hand as she closed her eyes against a wave of unexpected tears.

"He'll come back for me," Kurayami whispered into Tsunade's shoulder.

Tsunade nodded. "He will."

Just as she was about to lower her hand upon Kurayami's back, to send the distressed woman into a dreamless sleep, she realized that something was moving in the room. Her eyes snapped open and she gasped in surprise at the sight before her.

"Ami…" whispered a voice that made Kurayami's heart skip a beat.

"Oh my goddess!" Tsunade gasped as Kurayami turned around with a wet smile on her face. "You – you did it!"

Kurayami beamed. "I love you Kakashi."

**X.X.X.X.X.X**

**A/N: So there it is. I have finally fixed the Kakashi death thing and if you ask me if Kakashi's really dead, I'll tell you not anymore. Review me if you would be so kind and let me know what you think about this little one-shot of depression.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So thanks to the people that reviewed, I sort of got an idea in my head about where this story could go. It's still a work in progress but I'm going to go with it no matter where it takes me. I warn you that I'm behind in Naruto and will probably never catch up so I'm taking creative privileges and running wild. If you're still interested in coming along for the ride, I thank you and wish you a nice ride...**

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Tsunade couldn't believe her eyes and wouldn't believe the results of the tests she ran. There was no way that Kakashi was alive, but she could see him sitting next to Kurayami on the hospital bed while she signed paperwork. He was talking, breathing, and living when he had laid dead hours before.

"What are you going to tell everyone, Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked, staring at the occupants of the room across the hall. "They all think he is dead and yet, he is back."

"I don't know what to tell them," Tsunade admitted, crossing her arms. "I suppose I should tell them that Kurayami sacrificed part of herself to bring him back to us in this time of great need. No need going into details but I'll still tell them as much of the truth as they need to know."

"It's not like you could keep this a secret for long," Shizune commented. "There will be no way to keep Kakashi hidden away from the rest of the village. He's too active for the hidden life."

Tsunade nodded in agreement. _If only I had known about this jutsu when I was younger...maybe my love would be alive too..._She shook herself. _Why am I thinking this? Something has to have gone wrong with this jutsu. Even Kurayami's grandfather couldn't make the jutsu go so perfectly and he studied it for a couple of months before performing it. Something must be wrong with him._

_I've looked at all of his vital signs. His heartbeat is definitely slower and his temperature is down, but I suppose I can't expect instant normal readings from someone who was dead just a few hours ago. Maybe I'm just overreacting because Kurayami completed such a powerful jutsu..._

Kurayami coughed in the hospital room and Tsunade looked at her. She looked like she was in pain, but the younger girl was doing her best to hide it from the world. It was like she was trying to spend every moment she could with Kakashi when she should have been checked out and stabilized until Ai had completely recovered from such a power drain as required by the jutsu that Kurayami had performed. Tsunade thought the girl was unwise in choosing that path, but she was unwilling to tell the girl because she knew that if she was in her place that she would be doing the same thing with the man she loved.

"We will wait until the morning to tell the village that Kakashi Hatake is alive again," Tsunade told Shizune. "No details. Just the fact that he lives because of Kurayami's deeds tonight. And I will see to it personally that Kurayami doesn't go on anymore missions until I am sure that Ai is back to health."

Shizune bowed her head. "I think that would be best."

Tsunade sighed and walked back into the hospital room that Kakashi sat in. He was commenting on how he wanted Kurayami to go back home and sleep.

"You used too much chakra tonight Ami," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she swayed on the edge of the hospital bed. "I told you not to do that, no matter what." He gently touched the bloody bandages wrapped around her wrist. "And you've lost too much blood."

"It was worth it," Kurayami told him quietly, staring at him like he could vanish at any moment. "I brought you back from the dead because I was so lonely. I couldn't stand being without you and now here you are. I have my love back."

She shivered and looked away, her face betraying her pain for a split second. Tsunade grabbed the young kunoichi's wrist and peeled away the bandages while Kakashi watched. The wound was deep and was still bleeding which explained the fact that the bandages had bled through.

_Normally, her demons would have healed such a wound almost instantly_, Tsunade thought to herself. _If Ceres is more concerned about taking care of Ai than healing a life-threatening injury such as this, Ai must be in some serious trouble. _

Kurayami coughed again and pressed her hand against her mouth. She drew it away and tried to hide it, but both Kakashi and Tsunade had already seen the blood on the girl's hand.

"Kurayami, you need to let me take care of you," Tsunade said, while Kakashi's grip on Kurayami tightened. "You've used too much chakra as Kakashi has said, going way beyond your normal capacity. It's amazing that you haven't passed out or suffered more serious injuries."

Kurayami offered the older woman a tiny smirk that looked more like a grimace. "You'd be surprised at what condition I really am in. But I don't think it matters because I have done what I set out to do."

"At the cost of Ai's life..." Tsunade whispered.

"She's not dead yet."

"You told me yourself that she's barely holding on. If it weren't for the fact that you have Ceres in your body as well, she would be a goner."

Kakashi's visible eye narrowed as he looked down at Kurayami's trembling form. "Kurayami! How could you do something like that? Ai is part of you! If she dies, part of you dies and I have already told you that if you die – or any part of you dies – that this world won't be worth living in!"

Kurayami bowed her head in shame. "I'm sorry Kakashi...I wasn't thinking about the consequences because I was too blinded by the pain and loneliness that came with the world that didn't hold you in it anymore. I didn't care what I lost...I just needed to have you back."

"Ami..." Kakashi sounded angry but he didn't say anymore like his anger was beyond words, choosing to simply get up and walk over to the window instead.

Tsunade looked between the two lovers, wondering silently if the two of them would be able to make it through this without some serious fighting. Silently, she healed Kurayami's wound so that there would be no more blood loss.

"Kurayami, there will be no more missions coming your way until I know that Ai is better," Tsunade said in a low voice. "You can train but you will not overtax yourself because I don't want you to wind up on my operating table. Do you understand?"

Kurayami nodded and coughed again, blood splattering on her hand. "Ai...it'll take Ceres a few days to bring her back to health. I'll only be out of commission for that long and I promise that I will only use taijutsu until I am sure that she is better."

Tsunade smiled and touched Kurayami's cheek. "You have no idea how lucky you are."

"To be alive?" Kurayami asked, her eyes flashing in the direction of Tsunade's face. "Or to...?"

"For everything," Tsunade whispered, glancing over at the window to see that it was open and Kakashi was gone. _And he doesn't know how lucky he is to have someone who would risk everything for him_, Tsunade thought sadly.

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Kurayami was too sore to fall asleep. She'd stop coughing up blood which she didn't know if she should take as a good sign or not. She didn't know if that meant that Ai had been saved from death or she was simply out of blood.

_Ai, I am so sorry for what I did to you_, Kurayami thought, trying to reach out to the little cat demon that had always resided in her. _I was so blinded by pain that I didn't think about what you were going to go through. I could have killed you and -_

_You talk to much...little human, _Ai said, her voice faint but at least she was still there. _I know you are sorry. I've known that you were sorry ever since you found out what your jutsu had done to me._

_Ai, please forgive me but you know that I was suffering without Kakashi in my life. Without him you know that I was bound for a life of - _

_Bad choices that could result in more chaos for Konoha. Yes. We've been over this before. I know what you can and can't do if something bad happens to you when you're in an unstable, emotional state. I was there when you were coerced into joining the Akatsuki by Orochimaru all those years ago. _

_Yes. You've always been there for me even when Ceres told you that you shouldn't have been. I made bad decisions, but we made the best come out of it all. We grew up. We grew stronger. And in the end we will have made many lives better._

_You act like this is the end. This isn't the end of me Kurayami. It will take more than a resurrection jutsu to kill me off. I plan to be around all the way to the end of your life after you've had dozens of children and more grandchildren than you can remember the names of._

Kurayami actually cracked a smile. _You really believe that I will have that many children with Kakashi? I'm not a cat that can produce multiple children at one time. Maybe three at the most at a time, but definitely not the amount that you must think. _

_I didn't say that they all have to come from Kakashi..._

_I am not sleeping with anyone other than Kakashi. I'm sorry if you don't fully trust him,but you're going to have to trust the fact that I love him and he loves me. Besides, I think you're taking your distrust in men a little too far. Not all men are like Orochimaru._

_I know that, but most men have Orochimaru-like tendencies._

Kurayami looked out the window at the shining orb hanging in the night sky, seeing Kakashi's face in it for a brief moment. _Not Kakashi. He is..._

_A pervert?_Ai suggested helpfully.

_Yes but at least he's a caring pervert. And he's my love so you better stop making fun of him._

_Never._

Kurayami could tell that Ai was starting to become tired from so much chatter. Normally they could have gone on for hours on end talking about one thing or another, but after what Kurayami had put Ai through, she wasn't ready to push it. Losing the demon would be like losing Kakashi – it would probably hurt worse knowing that she would have an empty spot in her soul for as long as she lived – and there was no way that she was going to lose someone else in her lifetime.

_Rest Ai. We'll have plenty of time to talk when you are better. _

Ai didn't bother replying and Kurayami wasn't really expecting her to. She sighed and relaxed back against the frame of her window. She felt at peace now, knowing that she had almost everyone she cared for back in her life where they would stay forever. It was all she could do not to call out into the night and announce her happiness to the sleeping people of Konoha.

She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them, Kakashi was standing outside her window, looking at her.

"Oh! Kakashi, what are you doing here?" Kurayami asked. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"I've been dead for three days," Kakashi reminded her. "Sleep isn't really on my short list of things to do today."

"Oh...right." Kurayami tried to stifle a yawn. She didn't remember ever being so tired, not even when she was training for twelve hours a day straight with Orochimaru.

"You, on the other hand, need some sleep," Kakashi stated, stepping into the window. "As I've said earlier, you've used too much chakra and from what little Tsunade told me, you haven't been sleeping."

"Spies are a girl's best friend," Kurayami muttered with a small smile.

Kakashi's eyes softened as he brushed back some of her hair. "Kurayami, I'm concerned about your health. What you've done was supposed to be impossible and wasn't supposed to be done under the conditions you performed it under. I appreciate what you did for me, but for once you should have put yourself before others."

"So, you're mad?"

"I'm not mad. I'm glad that you brought us back, but that doesn't mean that I like what you've done to yourself." Kakashi smiled and kissed her forehead through his mask. "Now, get to bed or do I have to force you to?"  
Kurayami didn't budge and stared at him with a challenging look in her eyes, though it was less effective due to the fact that she was so exhausted. Kakashi didn't seem to mind because he scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to her bed. She yawned as he set her down and kicked her shoes off.

"I don't know if I can sleep tonight," Kurayami admitted quietly, letting Kakashi tuck her in.

"I don't think falling asleep will be a problem for you tonight."

"It might be because I might wake up and you might be gone. This could all just be a dream concocted by my mind to help me through the grieving process or an illusion set up by Tsunade to do the exact same thing."

"Would it help if I promised to stay by your side tonight?"  
Kurayami looked at him through half closed eyes. It was getting harder and harder to keep her eyes open even when she wanted to stay awake to see his face for just a moment longer. "That would be...nice..."

Kakashi slipped onto the bed and let Kurayami rest her head on his chest. Kurayami fell asleep listening to his heartbeat and steady breathing as he stroke her hair. She was so happy to have him back.

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Kurayami spun around and around in a meadow, laughing as flower blossoms floated around her and filled the air with their sweet aroma. She was happy to have such a bright world back in her life. She had thought that with all the bad things she had done and what she had gone through that the happy world, full of color and life, had left her for good.

It didn't seem to be the case because she could feel the warm sunshine on her skin and hear the birds chirping all around her. The grass felt soft beneath her bare feet and Kurayami felt total peace in this wonderful little world.

"I could stay here forever," Kurayami whispered, looking up at the clear blue sky. "It'd be even better with Kakashi..."

Kurayami stopped spinning when she felt the air grow noticeably colder. The birds stopped chirping and flew away as if suddenly frightened by something horrible. The sky darkened as a cold wind blew clouds across it, blotting out the sun.

"What's going on?"

Something dark darted out from the darkened tree around the meadow and Kurayami had no time to get into a defensive stance before it had her in its vice-like grip. She squirmed and cried out, but no one heard her even though she knew that the village was only on the other side of the trees. Someone should have heard her, but no one was coming to save her.

The thing holding her brushed her hair away from her neck and Kurayami stiffened as she felt its hot breath against her skin. She gasped in pain when she felt two sharp fangs pierce her flesh, causing a wave of pain to go crashing through her body. Her body was on fire and the pain was so overwhelming

that Kurayami felt herself losing consciousness.

_What the hell is going on? - _was her last thought before everything went completely black.

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**A/N: Okay things are going to get a little confusing from here on in. You may already know where I' m going with this but you might not. I don't even know where I'm going with this, but I hope you stick around for the duration of this story...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So, I ran out of ideas for this story and I'm going to end it with this chapter. I warn you that this chapter sucks in advance and I'm sorry for that, but I have run out of ideas. **

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Kurayami jerked upright in her bed with a gasp. The blankets clung to her sweat covered body and were entangled around her legs. She ran a hand through her hair and looked around. She could see that the sun was up, eliminating all the darkness and offering warmth to the world, but still she felt cold.

_It's that dream's fault..._Kurayami thought as she tried to calm down her racing heart. _That bizarre dream about...what was that thing?_

She shook her head and climbed out of bed, struggling for a moment to free her legs. Kakashi was nowhere in the room and Kurayami was still too groggy to even focus so she could probe the house for the masked ninja. And she had odd aches all over her body.

_It's the jutsu catching up with me_, Kurayami told herself as she walked down the stairs. _I'll remember never to do that one again..._

"Kurayami," someone said, making her look up quickly.

A ninja stood there with his mask on. She frowned at him, leaning against the wall for support.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Lady Tsunade requests your presence," the ninja said from behind his mask.

Kurayami sighed. "Very well."

She pushed herself away from the wall and almost fell. The ninja grabbed her, steadying her with a gentle hand. Kurayami closed her eyes for a moment, wondering why she had become so weak.

"Are you all right, Kurayami?" the ninja asked.

"I feel…weak," Kurayami whispered, feeling her legs quake underneath her. "Something's not right." She looked at him sadly. "I need to see Lady Tsunade."

The ninja picked her up and placed her on his back. Kurayami closed her eyes as he flew out the window and jumped from building to building on his way to the Hokage. She felt acid bite at her throat and forced it back down. Everything hurt.

_Why am I so weak?_ Kurayami asked herself in the safety of her own head. _Ai? Are you dead?_

There was no answer.

_Ceres, did Ai…_

_**She's recovering. Leave her alone Ami. Let her rest. If you must do a Jutsu, let it be through me. But I would not suggest that in your condition that you try it.**_

_What do you know of my condition?_

_**Not much…You need to see Tsunade…she knows something about this sudden weakness.**_

Kurayami nodded and felt the ninja come to a stop. She asked him to put her down; she wanted to walk into the Hokage's office on her own. But doing so was harder than she expected when her legs trembled under her. She ended up leaning against the ninja for support as they walked towards the office.

"Are you sure you should not go to the hospital?" the ninja asked quietly, looking down at Kurayami with concern in his eyes.

Kurayami shook her head. "There isn't anything that they can do that Tsunade can't…"

The ninja bowed his head and knocked on the door to Tsunade's office. A whispered word bid him entrance and Kurayami blinked against the bright light of the room. Tsunade sat behind her desk, looking grave while Kakashi stood off to one side, looking very sad. Kurayami felt something drop in her stomach.

"Kurayami, you look terrible," Tsunade said, pushing herself to her feet.

Kurayami opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again when she tasted bile. She swallowed and stood there on trembling legs, using the ninja as support.

"I feel…very weak," she whispered.

Kakashi's eyes became even sadder and he looked away, shoving his hands in his pockets. Tsunade instructed the ninja to guide Kurayami to a chair and dismissed him once the task was complete. Kurayami slumped in the chair as Tsunade checked her vitals. The older woman raised a glowing green hand to Kurayami's chest and Kurayami felt relief from her dizziness, but she still felt weak.

"This is all because of the Jutsu," Kurayami whispered, looking at the Hokage as Tsunade straightened. "The exchange of energy…it's too great for a normal human to handle, but a truly powerful person will only experience weakness temporarily."

"That may be true, Kurayami, but I'm afraid that is not the complete answer," Tsunade said, leaning back against her desk. "The other part of the answer comes with Kakashi."

Kurayami looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Tsunade looked at Kakashi. "Tell her."

Kakashi sighed and walked away from the window. Kurayami watched him grow closer, the sadness in his eyes breaking her heart the longer she looked at him. He stopped in front of her and crouched down, resting his hands lightly on her knees. Kurayami trembled under his touch.

"Ami, you shouldn't have brought me back," Kakashi told her quietly.

"But I had to be with you again," Kurayami breathed.

"I would have come back with the help of someone else," Kakashi explained, looking up into her eyes. "Pein was going to bring me back because this was all part of a Jutsu…I wasn't really dead…but…"

Kurayami shook her head. "You were dead…I couldn't stand it. I had to bring you back Kakashi!"

Kakashi gently caressed her face. "Ami, you should have waited…You should have moved on without me."

"Never…"

Kakashi sighed. "Kurayami, something has happened…something that no one is going to be thrilled about."

"I don't understand."

Kakashi glanced at Tsunade. "Show her Kakashi," the old woman ordered.

Kurayami watched Kakashi straighten. He peeled off his vest and pulled off his shirt. Kurayami's eyes widened in horror when she saw the seal on his body. The seal covered his entire left shoulder just as her own seal of Ai covered hers, only his was even blacker, fresh even.

"Kakashi…I…"

"I have a demon Kurayami," Kakashi announced. "It came from Ai, taking as much of her life energy as it could to sustain itself in the first moments of its life. It's only growing more powerful as it stays in my body. Soon it will be as powerful as Ai…maybe even more powerful than her."

"Kakashi, I'm sorry," Kurayami whispered, pressing her hand against her mouth. "I – I didn't mean to place a demon inside you…I never wanted this to happen."

"Kurayami, this is exactly why your grandfather failed to revive your grandmother," Tsunade explained, watching the scene play out before her with grave eyes. "He needed the power of demon to grant life once more, but he did not possess a demon and could not extend the life energy to your grandmother…but you could. You did. Now, Ai has given birth to a new demon in Kakashi's body and we do not know how to deal with this."

"Can we remove it?" Kurayami asked quietly. "I…I can try to reabsorb it…"

"I'm afraid it's too late for that," Tsunade stated. "The demon has already united with all of Kakashi's vitals. To remove it now would kill Kakashi again."

Kurayami felt tears flood her eyes, despite the control she had as a kunoichi. "I'm…sorry…"

Kakashi reached down and wiped away her tears, cupping her face gently with one hand. He looked into her eyes and Kurayami felt love course through her despite what she had done to him. He would always be her one and only love no matter what happened.

"Kurayami…I know you're sorry, but you should have known better," Kakashi told her gently. "You know better than to act on impulse. You could have faced far greater consequences."

Kurayami closed her eyes and frowned. "I never wanted this to happen…I just wanted the pain to end, but I was too scared to take my own life…"

Kakashi's eyes narrowed. "Never think about taking your own life, Kurayami! Never! We're together now and together we'll be until we die. And there will be no more resurrections for either of us."

Kurayami's eyes widened as he held up the scroll that she had used the night before to resurrect him. It caught fire as she watched and Kakashi let it drop to the floor where it was consumed by the flames. She tried to push herself to her feet, but Kakashi pushed her back down.

"Why did you do that?" she demanded.

"It had to be done," Kakashi stated.

"We can't allow another ninja to learn of the Resurrection Jutsu," Tsunade told her. "If they find out, they may attempt to use it to revive any of their fallen members and they will die. We do not need to have our ninjas die because of a Jutsu that only one person in the world can do."

Kurayami stared at the pile of ash on the floor. "You're right…" She turned her eyes away from it. "Kakashi, I want to go home."

"Okay."

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Kurayami sunk onto the couch with a small sound of relief. She had managed to walk from Tsunade's office to Kakashi's house without falling down or depending on Kakashi too much. People had stopped to gawk at them with disbelieving looks on their faces. Kakashi had been dead, but here he was alive again. Kurayami was sure people would be hounding her or Tsunade for answers, but they had taken vows of silence about the issue. No answers to any questions about the resurrection. Nothing revealed to the villagers or other ninja. Nothing.

Kakashi sat down next to her and wrapped his arm comfortingly around her shoulders. She leaned against him and rested her head lightly against his shoulder. He had his nose in the latest Icha Paradise book, reminding her that some things never change.

"Kakashi…I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he told her quietly.

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**A/N: Review to let me know where I've screwed up. Thanks!**


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